1. Have Fun

This raffle is meant to be fun. If you're not having fun, please refer back to Rule #1.

2. No Bribing the Organizer

Coffee, donuts, and compliments are appreciated, but they will not improve your odds. (Probably.)

3. Every Ticket Counts

Each ticket purchased increases your chances of winning and your reputation as a supporter of extremely important raffle-related activities.

4. Friendly Competition Encouraged

Cheering, celebrating, and lighthearted bragging are welcome. Excessive victory speeches may be edited for length.

5. No Financial Advice

Purchasing additional tickets because you have "a good feeling about this" is a personal decision.

6. The Leaderboard Doesn't Exist

Any rumors regarding rankings, standings, top performers, or mysterious levels of achievement are purely speculative.

7. Recruit Responsibly

Encouraging friends, family, coworkers, pets, or unusually intelligent houseplants to participate is allowed.

8. Winner Must Accept Glory

Prizes may be temporary, but bragging rights are forever.

9. Suspiciously Lucky Participants

Anyone who wins after saying "I never win anything" will be subjected to light-hearted suspicion.

10. Organizer Reserves the Right

The organizer reserves the right to make reasonable decisions, settle disputes, and pretend everything is running exactly according to plan.